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You Are Alone
Review Written by: Alex Sandell
You Are Alone

Drunk and depressing makes the world go 'round!

This movie is every bit as depressing as its title implies. It leaves a lingering feeling of sadness that even a 12 pack of Guinness beer won't wash away (trust me, I gave it a shot). That being said, you may need to suck on a joint or two to smoke away the film's imperfections. It
tries too hard to be poetic with some of its dialog occasionally coming off as flowery and fake. The older guy in the movie (Buddy) seems a little TOO out of it to be believable for his age. It seems more like a teenage girl is explaining her sexuality to an asexual 70-year-old extra-terrestrial virgin who is only visiting earth for a day, than it does a teenager explaining her sexual practices to someone from the planet earth in their late 30s with a working penis.

In the Internet age, it's pretty hard to believe this guy would be so unaware of the sexual world around him (unless he's working for Mike Huckabee). Heck, he'd be out of it in the "VCR" age. He probably couldn't even handle beta tapes with bouncing boobies. At the same time, he somehow knows what things like "bbbj" mean. I don't even know what the fuck "bbbj" means and I'm still semi-youthful and sexually active. The character of Buddy just isn't consistent in his carnal knowledge. But the movie is as sad as it promises to be and in that respect it fully lives up to its title. And the character of Daphne is entirely believable, thanks in large part to the excellent performance put in by Jessica Bohl. A performance that is so believable, you nearly forget about Buddy completely. Which is sort of the point.

Making Buddy as lonely and forgettable as he is in the film makes it a little easier to understand why he's so weird, depressed and unpredictable (it doesn't explain his cardboard performance). He goes from stalker to sympathetic as fast as a Bugatti Veyron goes from 0-60. By the end, I found myself identifying with the guy, which is so pathetic I can't believe I'm admitting it in a film review. If you watch the movie, pay attention to Buddy and his dog. In a lot of ways, that's me. And you'll feel pity for me knowing that. And imagining that you'll give me a sympathy fuck makes the whole movie worth watching. Clearly someone knew how to pull those annoying fucking heartstrings (while getting me laid).

You Are Alone felt like it could be something more, while simultaneously being enough. I'm sure part of its failure is budget constraints and the rest is a writer trying too hard to create the next American Beauty or even One Hour Photo.
He wanted you to feel this film so badly that a lot of feeling is yanked from the film. Still, the ending will make you miserable and may even cause you to shed a tear. The acting ranges from excellent to understandable and after watching you will never forget that you are truly alone. But if you don't want to be reminded of that, you may want to rent a Disney cartoon instead. Damn Disney and their cartoons -- the Valium of video!

Agree? Disagree? Email Alex!

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©2007 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. Copy this without my permission and I'll make sure Shane Salerno turns your life into a major motion picture. That's not a good thing