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STAR TREK
Review Written by: Alex Sandell
Hopefully I can save a few fellow Trekkies from the
trepidation I had going into this film with an honest review from an
honest fan of the original series that isn't based in hype. Despite the
ludicrous and dismissive tagline, "This Isn't Your Father's Star Trek" and
J.J.'s claims that this "wasn't directed for Trek fans," this movie is Star Trek, through
and through.
Contrary to what you've heard from the hype machine, this
movie isn't the Star
Wars version of Star
Trek. It isn't a dumbed down version of Star Trek (although
the plot gets unnecessarily convoluted in its desire to shoehorn in the
original Spock). And no, it isn't even a "reboot" of Star Trek as much
as it's an odd sort of prequel/sequel hybrid.
Outside of ten ridiculous, product-placement filled (Nokia, Budweiser,
Jack Daniels) minutes with a rebellious Kirk pretending to be Tom
Cruise in Mission
Impossible; the movie doesn't bother catering to the
snot-nosed crowd raised on Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer
flicks. There's enough character and story development to send the ADHD
gang back to texting tweets to their Twitter accounts (in a stunning
moment of hypocrisy, I must remind readers that they can keep
up-to-date on all things Juicy
by following me on Twitter by clicking here).
While the plot of the new Star
Trek isn't on par with the best of what the Trek features have
to offer, the action rivals them all. There are enough, "holy fucking
shit!" moments in this one movie to fill three. It's worth mentioning
again that the story isn't bad, it's just no Wrath of Khan.
With technical jargon, fist-fights, mind melds, a villain bent on
revenge and Kirk in full-flirt mode; the only thing missing is Jim's
shirt being magically torn off to expose his torso mid-fight. The
audience I attended the film with had a median age of around 50 years
old. These were diehard, lifelong Trek fans. And 90% of them cheered
wildly at the end. This may not be "your father's Star Trek," but your
father sure is going to love it if he's a Trekkie!
8 Juicy
squirts out of a maximum 10 ejaculations
