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The 30 Juiciest Romances of the Past 30 Years*
*Not counting books, magazines, newspapers, television or reality
NUMBERS 25 - 21

Written by:  Alex Sandell

This is the second part of a 6 part update (maybe 7 parts, if I go nutty and do this one thing that I probably won't do).  You can click here to read part one.


#25
Benny & Joon

What makes it one of the 30 Juiciest romances of the past 30 years?:  This was the first movie I ever saw in a Cinema and Drafthouse.   If you don't know what one is, they are a series of pictures projected onto a screen giving the illusion of movement.  Usually they tell a story to the audience through the pictures and a thing called "dialogue."  If you don't know what a Cinema and Drafthouse is, it's a place where you can drink beer, eat junk food and watch movies on a big screen.  I don't really like these film related watering holes, since waiters and waitresses always seem to pick a pivotal point during a film to stand directly in front of you and ask you how everything is and if you'd like anything else.  Anyway, my friend Jeff and I went to this Drafthouse back in 1993 with absolutely NO IDEA what to expect out of 90 minutes with Benny & Joon (outside of a nice little beer buzz).  We did think we would, more likely than not, hate the damn thing, and that's actually why we picked it.  As anyone in love with suds and celluloid will tell you, after a few beers a really bad movie is a hell of a lot better than a movie that's really good.  Still, only about 24 ounces into the film, both of us stopped drinking; this movie was captivating . . . even more captivating than stumbling around drunk in a theater.  The romance in the film was magic.  Sure, it was sappy, and not the most realistic movie ever projected onto a beer stained screen, but it was a lot of fun and damn if I haven't been trying to find a nutball with a heart of gold who will fall in love with me for my eccentricities, rather than income, ever since.  

Interesting tidbit to spice up your love life:  Benny & Joon spawned the overplayed single "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by the band The ProclaimersThe Proclaimers had already broken up by the time the song became a hit, but quickly reunited to capitalize on their newfound fame.  Instantly people realized that every song the band ever did, other than the stupid single, sucked harder than a strung out whore looking to score a fix, and The Proclaimers broke up just as fast as they had reunited, never to be heard from again.  

Quick, clever and extremely punchy pickup line:  Hi, I'm nuts . . . fuck me.  

You can buy Benny & Joon for less than $3.00 by clicking the banner at the top of this page!

Would Benny & Joon make your top 30?  Why, or why not?  What else would make the cut?  Send me an email with a few of your favorite romantic films, and be a part of the Juicy Cerebellum's upcoming READER top 30!


#24
Quills

What makes it one of the 30 Juiciest romances of the past 30 years?:  This is, without a doubt, one of the most twisted romances in the top 30.  There's actually numerous love affairs in Quills, but one would be hard pressed to describe the majority of them as "romantic."  Quills shows a 21st century audience that an important film can, indeed, still be made, even if nobody bothers to watch it.  This is a love affair between man and art, truth and freedom, violence and desire.  It is one of the best movies of the past decade, and possibly the most necessary film ever created . . .

Interesting tidbit to spice up your love life:  They show boobies.  

Quick, clever and extremely punchy pickup line:  Hi, I'm "necessary" . . . fuck me.

You can buy Quills for less than $5.00 by clicking the banner at the top of this page!

Would Quills make your top 30?  Why, or why not?  What else would make the cut?  Send me an email with a few of your favorite romantic films, and be a part of the Juicy Cerebellum's upcoming READER top 30!  


#23
Being John Malkovich

What makes it one of the 30 Juiciest romances of the past 30 years?:  Being John Malkovich is one quirky little tale with a lesbian romance that is nothing more than one-sided puppy dog love until it is finally brought to fruition in the final minutes.  Still, in those minutes, this movie bitch slaps every conniving little conman across the face in a way that no movie that came before, or since, ever has.

Interesting tidbit to spice up your love life:  Cameron Diaz is now being paid 20 million dollars a movie, making her one of the highest paid actresses in history.  Did anyone else totally not see this coming?  Was I asleep when she suddenly became a celebrity worthy of 20 million a pop?  They should make a movie called "Being Cameron Diaz" where we get to watch how many guys she had to blow to get her big paycheck.  Grrl power!

Quick, clever and extremely punchy pickup line:  I'm worth 20 million and can swallow a banana whole . . . fuck me. 

You can buy Being John Malkovich for less than $2.00 by clicking the banner at the top of this page!

Would Being John Malkovich make your top 30?  Why, or why not?  What else would make the cut?  Send me an email with a few of your favorite romantic films, and be a part of the Juicy Cerebellum's upcoming READER top 30!


#22
Pump Up the Volume

What makes it one of the 30 Juiciest romances of the past 30 years?:  When Samantha Mathis takes Christian Slater's hand and places it on her naked breast, allowing him to overcome his incredible shyness, not to mention virginity, I nearly melted.  Yes, I realize that sounds pathetic, and it probably is, but when I saw this movie back in 1990, I was a virgin, and melt I did.  It didn't take me long to find a girl of my own who was willing to make the first move and gently slide my hand under her shirt and over her breast, and everything suddenly fell into place.  Now, 12 years, and dozens of breasts, later, here I am, using the web as my soapbox just like Slater's character used pirate radio as his, and I feel indebted to Pump Up the Volume and its strong "fight the power" message for always reminding me that, whenever a huge chunk of society is being silenced, it is more important than ever to "talk hard" and to never forget that a passionate girl and a bare breast may be waiting just around the corner.

Interesting tidbit to spice up your love life:  Samantha Mathis dated River Phoenix and now he's dead.  Christian Slater played the part of Daniel Malloy in Interview With the Vampire, a part which originally went to River Phoenix, before he passed away.  Slater would only take the role on one condition:  all the money he was paid had to go to charity.  Later, Mathis and Slater teamed up again in the film, Broken Arrow.  Neither of them donated their salary to charity for that one.  Now they're both has-beens.  River Phoenix is still dead. 

Quick, clever and extremely punchy pickup line:  I dated River Phoenix . . . fuck me. 

You can buy Pump Up the Volume for less than $1.00 by clicking the banner at the top of this page!

Would Pump Up the Volume make your top 30?  Why, or why not?  What else would make the cut?  Send me an email with a few of your favorite romantic films, and be a part of the Juicy Cerebellum's upcoming READER top 30!


#21
The End of the Affair

What makes it one of the 30 Juiciest romances of the past 30 years?:  Okay, what's up with me and films with Julianne Moore dating men other than me?  I nearly put Magnolia on this list, along with Moore's Hannibal, The End of the Affair and Benny & Joon, but decided that it didn't quite make the cut.  Maybe it's the fact that Julianne's lowered herself to doing makeup commercials.  Maybe it's just that Magnolia didn't have a romance that moved me enough to count it.  Maybe I'm way off topic and am saying nothing about The End of the Affair.  That would be funny if I just stopped typing right here and never told anyone why I loved this movie and felt it belonged on the list of the 30 Juiciest romances of the past 30 years.  

Interesting tidbit to spice up your love life:  If you pay attention you'll notice that Julianne Moore has a really big chin.  No amount of makeup can hide that, so there!  

Quick, clever and extremely punchy pickup line:  You know what they say about a woman with a big chin? . . . fuck me.

You can buy The End of the Affair for less than $1.00 by clicking the banner at the top of this page!

Would The End of the Affair make your top 30?  Why, or why not?  What else would make the cut?  Send me an email with a few of your favorite romantic films, and be a part of the Juicy Cerebellum's upcoming READER top 30!

Click here for numbers 20 - 16!

All text on this page is copyright 2002 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved].  If you copy this, without my permission, you'll turn into a toad, and your prince will never come.  Wait a minute, I didn't get that right, did I?  

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Half.com: buy/sell used books, music, movies,games
Support the Cerebellum! Buy ANY of the movies on this page for EXTREMELY cheap (some cost less than a rental)!