The title graphic my brother and I created has been removed due to my brother getting a big head and demanding "top credit" for the graphic. If any of you graphic artists out there are interested in trying your hand at the title graphic I inevented, send me an email, and let's get to work!

If you have yet to read the "A" "B" and "C" movie reviews of 2001, click now to do so.


If you want to read the gut-busting intro. I created for the first update in this series, you'll have to head back to the "A" "B" and "C" section.  I figured, rightfully so, that people would get sick of scrolling past it every time they wanted to get to the movie reviews.  I have left in a few necessities, for you folks too lazy to click a button on your mouse:

When there is an "N/A" in a certain spot, that means that my brothers, or myself, have yet to see the movie (but want to), or that we couldn't make up our minds on what we thought about the film.  When you see a film with ALL N/A's, that means we have yet to see the movie.

Please keep in mind that we live in a town so small, that a theater owner can actually get a two year restraining order against a person for requesting (not demanding) that he play better movies.  A town so small that your neighbor is your community.  And, finally, a town so small that I was just carded for a PG-13 movie (I'm not kidding) when I tried to rent Planet of the Apes.  

Obviously,  it is extremely hard to view any art house films until they are out on cable (the video stores here consider Ace Ventura: Pet Detective "art house").  I do receive screenings for art house films, but they're 3 hours away, and they start at 10:00 or 10:30 AM, and I'm not one to get up at 6 in the morning to drive 3 hours, watch a movie, and drive 3 hours home, although I do make the journey, on rare occasion.  

In the meantime, you'll have to look over what my brothers and I did have a chance to watch during the year of 2001, and what our opinions on the marketed-for-the-masses films were (there are a few art house films scattered throughout, when I did manage to get my ass out of bed, and down to Minneapolis).  Within the next couple of months ALL of the "art house" films will be included (I always find a way to get to every one before the Academy Awards).  

I will post three letters (as in "letters from the alphabet" not "letters your grandma sends you on Christmas") worth of films per day, in alphabetical order.  I will link to all full reviews available, if they have been written for this page.  The rest is pretty self-explanatory, unless you can't explain stuff to yourself.

"D" "E" and "F"
Films of 2001

Dr. Dolittle 2

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell 6 Totally moronic, but has a few funny parts, and Eddie Murphy's oldest daughter in the film is hot as hell and has gigantic hooters (but Eddie can't talk to them).  Get it?  "Hooters?"  "Owls?"  "Animal Talkin' Eddie can't converse with them?"  C'mon, it's not like the film's any funnier.
The Almighty Matt Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Ben Sandell N/A N/A

Overall Rating:  6

Donnie Darko

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell 6 This movie is trying to be David Lynch and it fails miserably.  It's still kind of entertaining, though.
The Almighty Matt Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Ben Sandell N/A N/A

Overall Rating:  N/A

 

Ed Gein

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell N/A See above.
The Almighty Matt Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Ben Sandell N/A N/A

Overall Rating:  N/A

 

Endurance: Shackleton's Legendary Antarctic Expedition, The

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Matt Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Ben Sandell 5 Though the true story is enthralling, this documentary offers nothing new but faded photographs and wobbly film.

Overall Rating:  5

Enemy at the Gates

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Matt Sandell 7 Spoiled by crappy romance and bad music.  Has some great action moments.
The Almighty Ben Sandell 7 Good action but clichéd.

Overall Rating:  7

 

Exorcist:  The Version You've Never Seen

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell 5 Unfortunately, it wasn't any better than the version I already saw.
The Almighty Matt Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Ben Sandell N/A N/A

Overall Rating:  5

Fast and the Furious, The

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell 4 Good if you're a motorhead redneck with no brain cells under that Dale Earnhardt Jr. cap of yours.  Click here for full review.
The Almighty Matt Sandell 6 I wonder if they ever saw Point Break?
The Almighty Ben Sandell 6 No plot. No character development but nice cars.

Overall Rating:  5.3

 

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Matt Sandell 6 Seen it before and done better.
The Almighty Ben Sandell 6 I wonder if they remember it was supposed to be based on the video game.

Overall Rating:  6

From Hell

The Almighty Sandell's: 1-10 rating (10 being the best): Comments:
The Almighty Alex Sandell 3 It's just like Hollywood to take one of the best graphic novels ever written and turn it into utter crap.  It's just like Harry Knowles to like it.  Click here for full review.
The Almighty Matt Sandell N/A N/A
The Almighty Ben Sandell N/A N/A

Overall Rating:  3

Click here to head to the G, H and I section of this film fanatic's fantastical series!  

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All text, title graphic and end graphic are Copyright ©2002 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved].  I don't know why you'd want to copy other people's opinions in the first place (but that is what made Lord of the Rings a hit), but if you do, for some pathetic reason, you must contact me first, and get my permission!

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