The Juicy Cerebellum's
Guide to
Super Sex

Some people say the most important sex organ is the brain. Others say it's the eye. Some claim it's the heart. Here, at The Juicy Cerebellum, we believe it's the genitals. Why? Well, how else are you gonna have sex, Einstein?

Are you ready to turn up the heat in your lovelife? Are you ready to discover a woman's most personal sexual secrets? Would you like to find out, once and for all, just what a vagina is? Well, then you've came to the right place.

The tips we are going to offer you here, are like no other. At The Juicy Cerebellum, we really know how to have a good time in the sack. None of that, "lick around the nipple, without actually touching it, to drive her into a sexual frenzy" crap. This page is packed full of all the secrets that every man and woman should know, but only a lucky few ever learn.

You are about to become one of those lucky few. The secrets of SUPER sex are about to be yours. Without further adieu, here is

The Juicy Cerebellum's
Guide to
Super Sex:

Nothing gets a woman hotter than a man dressed up in Kiss makeup. You can literally watch her nipples growing erect under her blouse when you stick out your tongue and seduce her with the lyrics to "Calling Dr. Love."

Go ahead, make 'em feel insecure. What better way to hold onto a loved one for life than to insure they will never have the self-esteem to go find another? Go ahead girls, all it takes is a word or two mumbled under your breath. The words "tiny" and "joke" should work nicely. And guys, when you pull off her shorts, a well-placed "pew" would be sufficient.

Avoid foreplay
It's just a waste of time. Remember, you're missing lots of good stuff on t.v..

Ejaculate quickly
Preferably within a minute or two. If you start with a minute, think how pleased she'll be when you hold off for five. Don't make premature ejaculation a mistake, make it a way of life. She'll love ya for it!

Ask him to shave
His butt. When you're squeezing those buttocks in the middle of orgasm, remind him how truly hairy they are. That'll get him to thinking. Might even have him feeling so badly, it'll take an extra few minutes before he pops his cork.

Use toys
G.I. Joe, Barbie, or whatever action figure you prefer. The body is full of nooks and crannies for people to hide in. Pretend her breasts are gigantic mountains! Use his penis as a big, nasty snake! Makes sandboxes obsolete!

Invest in a penlight
This way you can explore your partner's body in the dark. Then, when they least expect it, stick the light up their butt and scream "GOTCHA!" This will get 'em really hot and bothered.

Go straight to bed
No pillow talk. No snuggling. Just fall asleep. It'll keep you energetic, and ready for the next time you're together!

We hope these sex tips work as well for you as they have for us! You'll find that, if you apply these techniques each time you make love, you may end up having sex as often as once ever ten or fifteen years!

Got any sex tips of your own? Send 'em to:

1997 Alex Sandell. [All Rights Reserved] It's not like I just came up with these brilliant techniques at the last minute so I could have some sort of update for my page, you know!

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