The "Stay-Fat" Plan
Quickly Written by: Alex Sandell
It really is odd that only fat people are drinking "Slim-Fast." I'm starting to wonder if maybe it's just a crock of shit, this "I lost 732 pounds on the 'Slim-Fast' plan" crap. "A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and a sensible dinner!" Yippee!!! Outside of an alcoholic, who the fuck actually wants a liquid lunch? Not to mention, the shit isn't a shake. It's a can of Cellulose gum and cocoa. Watery Jell-o with artificial flavoring, sugar and corn starch ("modified," of course). Fucking "Slim-Fast." The whole thing pisses me off. It should just be called "Stay-Fat." I like that. "A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and a ton of unhealthy snacks in-between! That's the 'Stay-Fat' plan!!!"
I wish I could find my grandpa's letters so I could do the next update in "Letter's Home: at least my hands weren't blown off." I wanted to get a new one up for Memorial Day. Instead, I'll put a picture of some girl's butt here, two days AFTER Memorial Day. If you haven't seen a butt before, are not familiar with what a butt is, or are too young to view a butt, please advert your eyes now.
You have been warned:
Text ©1999 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. Photo ©1999 someone's smelly ass, inc. [all rights reserved]. If you're on the "Slim-Fast" plan, please keep those nude photos to yourself.