The "Stay-Fat" Plan
Quickly Written by:  Alex Sandell

It really is odd that only fat people are drinking "Slim-Fast."  I'm starting to wonder if maybe it's just a crock of shit, this "I lost 732 pounds on the 'Slim-Fast' plan" crap.  "A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and a sensible dinner!"  Yippee!!!  Outside of an alcoholic, who the fuck actually wants a liquid lunch?  Not to mention, the shit isn't a shake.  It's a can of Cellulose gum and cocoa.  Watery Jell-o with artificial flavoring, sugar and corn starch ("modified," of course).   Fucking "Slim-Fast."  The whole thing pisses me off.  It should just be called "Stay-Fat."  I like that.  "A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and a ton of unhealthy snacks in-between!  That's the 'Stay-Fat' plan!!!" 

I wish I could find my grandpa's letters so I could do the next update in "Letter's Home:  at least my hands weren't blown off."  I wanted to get a new one up for Memorial Day.   Instead, I'll put a picture of some girl's butt here, two days AFTER Memorial Day.   If you haven't seen a butt before, are not familiar with what a butt is, or are too young to view a butt, please advert your eyes now.

You have been warned:

Text ©1999 Alex Sandell [all rights reserved]. Photo ©1999 someone's smelly ass, inc. [all rights reserved].  If you're on the "Slim-Fast" plan, please keep those nude photos to yourself.