33 things more irritating than world starvation
Written by: Alex Sandell

Banks closing at four p.m.
Public displays of affection
Job interviews
The fact that "thin crust" pizza costs the same as "deep pan," even though you get way more stuff with deep pan.
Seizures
My ex-fiancée
People that sit behind you, and kick your seat
Zits
The constant wait for chapter 46, in the ongoing, online, serial-novel, "Dead Dogs Don't Roll Over"
Free Willy 3
Waiting for all these little globes to download
When "Playboy" magazine airbrushes the actual vagina, making it look like women just have one big bush. Do they have any idea how much that confuses a 12-year-old, getting his rocks off for the very first time? "Hey, where's that hole everyone keeps talking about?"
People that answer EVERY question with "I don't know"
People that think they know it all
Rude cashiers
Meeting up with some ex from the past, when you're all alone, and seeing them with a new partner
Courtney Love
Getting busted stealing cable
The fact that "My So Called Life" got cancelled, and never came back
The whole nation of France (maybe Sweden, too)
McDonald's
People that lie (oh, wait - I already brought up my fiancée, didn't I?)
Hangovers
People that don't take Juicy Survey # 3
Vegetarian farts
Green poop
All the stuff you have to do everyday, to insure you're not stinky
Having a can of soda explode in the freezer
Kissing someone with bad-breath
The fact that I'm not rich and famous
Jay Leno
Coming up with the 32nd thing that's more irritating than world starvation
Me

All written material COPYRIGHT ©1997 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. You DO know that the 34th thing more irritating than world starvation, is people that infringe on a copyright, don't you?

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