Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - Vader Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - Sith Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith - Yoda> Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith - Vader Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
STAR WARS posters on sale now! Click a mini-poster above for details! These are going fast!

\

So far, we've gotten some of the best Star Wars' stories in the galaxy sent our way! Click a link to check them out!

5/25/05 "I'm 28 years old and have never watched a star wars movie..." Click for more>>>

5/11/05 "I didn't understand the appeal of 'Star Wars' until April 2005. This story isn't about me. My 'Star Wars' story is about the smiling faces of the dozens of dedicated 'Star Wars' fans I see everyday..." Click for more>>>

5/10/05 "My earliest Star Wars memories involve lots of pot, lots of LSD and lots of laughing at a walking carpet..." Click for more>>>

5/09/05 "I have close to 30 years of memories, maybe more like 'feelings', regarding Star Wars..." Click for more>>>

5/08/05 "My day at Skywalker Ranch was an experience for the ages ... HOLY CRAP..." Click for more>>>

5/07/05 "I remember when you took on Harry Knowles for saying that Lord of the Rings is the new Star Wars and Star Wars is obsolete and Harry claiming that now Star Wars is a thing of the past..." Click for more>>>

5/07/05 "My first Star Wars' movie experience was in 1977; I was two years old. My brother was eight. And my other brother was dead..." Click for more>>>

5/07/05 "I was an unwed 23 year old mother (knocked up in the back of a Gremlin automobile, of all horrible places, after a hard night of partying in my freshman year of college) when I brought my 4 year old daughter to Star Wars in 1977...." Click for more>>>

Why not send in your own story today? Click here to email your early/advance thoughts on Revenge of the Sith! How about a letter letting the world know what Star Wars' means to you, or how old you were when you saw a Star Wars' film light up the screen for the very first time?  The first 10 letters with unique and thoughtful entries (if your email message consists of the word, "poop" or the question, "is C-3PO gay?" you ain't winning a prize) will WIN A FREE INVITE-ONLY Google GMAIL ACCOUNT! If you're a geek in the know, you know how rare GMAIL accounts are, and how hard they are to get!  ON JUNE 1ST I WILL AWARD THE AUTHOR OF MY FAVORITE LETTER A TARGET EXCLUSIVE LAVA RED REFLECTING DARTH VADER FIGURE!  Only 50,000 of these were ever made.  Click here to see one. Don't delay, send in your Star Wars' related email for a chance to win!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

I was an unwed 23 year old mother (knocked up in the back of a Gremlin automobile, of all horrible places, after a hard night of partying in my freshman year of college) when I brought my 4 year old daughter to Star Wars in 1977. I had watched an interview with George Lucas where he said he wanted to bring back good family films. Before we were getting adult-only movies like Taxi Driver and Godfather. Star Wars seemed a better choice for my daughter than Annie Hall. C-3PO turned out to be funnier than Woody Allen, anyways. I was curious to see the film for myself, since it had become a cultural phenomenon not unlike the second coming of Christ, or the invention of sliced-bread.

I was skeptical going in. Only a bottle of Valium could put me to sleep faster than the adventures of Captain Kirk and his weary band of travelers. To put it bluntly, I hated science-fiction. Within 30 minutes I was enjoying the film more than my daughter (who kept asking me why the midgets wore robes and had glowing eyes, whenever a Jawa came on screen). By the end, I was obsessed with the film to the point of buying every single figure made for it and giving them to my daughter, who let me know quite frequently that she would prefer Barbie.

This was not science-fiction as much as it was a sweeping space opera. It was a fantasy. Not the arduous Lord of the Rings type fantasy, but a magical kind of fantasy that somehow didn't make me want to kill its creator and put the world out of his misery. The two suns setting as the young boy looks toward his future. The cantina with its odd assortment of every type of villainous scum (I swear I recognized my daughter's father among the bunch). The lightsabers, the stormtroopers, the sand-people, the power of the Force, the cinnamon-bun haircuts, and Han Solo.

Yummy, delicious Han Solo. I could care less if he shoots first or second, as long as he isn't shooting blanks! I believe Harrison Ford was voted sexiest man alive. He should have been voted sexiest man in the galaxy. And the character of Solo has been often imitated but never surpassed. Sort of like Star Wars itself.

But I'm not as obsessed with Harrison Ford as I am in Star Wars. By the time I saw the X-Wings flying into the trench to destroy the Death Star, Harrison Ford was the last thing on my mind. This movie owned me in a way that no other had before and no other would be again. When Luke blew the Death Star to pieces I was standing on my feet and cheering (as was most of the audience).  I didn't quite know it yet, but Star Wars would come only second to my daughter in importance.

The Empire Strikes Back didn't give me quite the thrill the original did but I still saw it at the theater at least 5 times. Return of the Jedi was almost the most exciting for me, because my daughter, now 10, fully understood the story and cheered along with me and loved it as I loved Star Wars 6 years earlier. She has been a Star Wars' fan since. And don't get either of us started on the Ewoks! What's not to love about these cuddly, adorable warriors (outside of the all too visible zippers on the back of their costumes)?

Maybe it was old age setting in, or maybe it was good taste, but I didn't like The Phantom Menace. So much build up for Jar Jar Binks? As someone able to love even the Ewoks, I can tolerate a lot. But a funny talking lizard? What was Lucas thinking? Attack of the Clones was even worse with George's idea of romance being bad dialogue shot back and forth between two bad actors. And that ending battle seemed to go on forever. It was so long I started to wonder if "a long time ago" would become, "a few weeks before this showing."

But there's a happy ending to this story. My daughter now has a daughter of her own and I am taking my granddaughter, who is 4 years old, to Revenge of the Sith. Everything's come full circle and it's like reliving my youth through her eyes. Word on the street has it that Jar Jar isn't even in Episode III, so I have no reason to fear making my grandchild sick. Did I mention that she was conceived in the front seat of a Ford Escalade and her mother went on to marry her father? This family moves up. Even under the horrible Bush economy!

Those were my Star Wars memories. I hope you enjoyed them. May the Force be With You.

Love,
Amy

PS: You're the best film critic online and your page is one of the most entertaining!

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

My first Star Wars' movie experience was in 1977; I was two years old. My brother was eight. And my other brother was dead (more on that later).

One of my first memories was from 1980. It was Luke cutting off Vader’s head, only to find his own face under the helmet. It scared the hell out of me but I managed to keep it quiet so that my mom would let me see The Empire Strikes Back again.

It bothered me a lot because my 14 year old brother was decapitated in early 1977 when hitting a poorly placed barb-wired fence while snowmobiling. I didn't see his disembodied head but I always imagine it looking much like Luke's did in Vader's helmet. My brother wore a black snowmobile helmet. Worse yet; his name was Garth. The scene still gives me shivers.

Happier memories happened with the release of Return of the Jedi in 1983. We stood in a two block long line on opening day for “Revenge" of the Jedi. It took me a while to realize they changed the name from Revenge to Return. I didn’t understand the name change at the time but now it all makes sense. “Return” was my favorite of the three. I was a very foolish boy indeed.

But that was it. My life was over. Sure I had Indy and Back to the Future but they just didn’t compare.

Then there were rumors. A few murmurs. A couple Hollywood whispers.

And then…

Fuck.

Just re-releases with some CG added?

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Sure it’s cool but I wanted something new.

And then word came that Lucas was making a new trilogy. We stood in line once again. This time it was not to get into the movie but to buy the tickets three weeks in advance. It was a thrill to hold the tickets; to stare at them for hours. I would scrub the QuickTime player frame by frame to see every detail of the Phantom Menace trailer.

May, 19th 1999 we stood in line for four hours. We then sat in the theater for another hour. The lights went down; the 20th Century Fox logo came up. And life was good again.

I pretended for a couple of weeks that it was better than Jedi. I pretended that Jar Jar was no more annoying than the Ewoks. But my lies could not continue. The movie was OK, nothing more.

In 2002, my excitement was high but with reservation. Lucas trying to write a “Romance”; how could I not be cautious with my emotions? And I went and again it was OK, nothing more.

But now, May 19th 2005. My dreams realized. My life will be complete. There is no need for emotional reservations. This is the end, this is the one to answer 27 years of questions. This is the one where Lucas will make up for any mistake made over the last six years.

With all the nerd power vested in me, I proclaim in advance “Revenge of the Sith” to be the third greatest movie of all time.

Brian Soderholm

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

I've been a fan of your page since 1998. I loved when you were like the only critic daring to stand up against the lemmings and give negative reviews to the first two Lord of the Rings films. I think you kind of sold out when you said you suddenly loved them because the extended editions made them so much better. As if! The extended editions made them even more boring if that's possible. I think the LOTR geeks who gave you death threats scared you into changing your opinion because you'd rather change your opinion than be killed by a fucker with a picture of Frodo tattooed on his palm so he can beat off with a Hobbit. I remember when  you took on Harry Knowles for saying that Lord of the Rings is the new Star Wars and Star Wars is obsolete and Harry claiming that now Star Wars is a thing of the past. That gross man is the nets biggest moron and you taking him on was classic! Is that still online? Where can I find it on your page? It's cool you're asking about Star Wars and still showing your true colors that you're Star Wars fan first because I'm only writing to bitch you out (kidding!) and to let you know that I am still following the box office of the new Star Wars trilogy versus that Lord of the Rings garbage! Remember that The Phantom Menace did better than any LOTR film by a lot! Attack of the Clones was beat by a little bit by Return of the Boring Ass King. Now it's down to Revenge of the Sith. And my prediction is Revenge of the Sith will make 500 million dollars! It will make over 100 in its first 3 or 4 days! The worst Star Wars movie (Phantom Menace) is a billion times better than the "best" LOTR movie! This war is not over even if you're to chicken to fight it! Star Wars will prove it is the victor and I'd like to see the sixth LOTR film bring in 500 million dollars. Even if Revenge of the Sith only brings in 350 million dollars it still beats Return of the Boring Ass King! You wait and see. I know from your old updates you want Star Wars to win as bad as I do. And if you have a link to that update where you make fun of Harry Knowles being a Peter Jackson whipped idiot send me it because it made me laugh so hard beer came out my nose and that hurts. So you owe me!

Your Fan,
Sean

Alex's response -- Feeling a bit attacked in your message, I thought a response was necessary. The Harry Knowles' thing was a long time ago (and was removed from my page before today's three-year-old would even have been born). It did piss me off that he was so obviously kissing Peter Jackson's ass, because he had a chance to visit The Fellowship of the Ring set and live in Jackson's guest house, for a while.  I really hated how he said that Star Wars is now obsolete in the way King Kong became obsolete after Star Wars was released (ironic that Peter Jackson's next film is King Kong).  While I DID find the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings' films entertaining (and not because some geek found my grandmother's phone number and threatened to rape her -- talk about desperate), I never claimed they were as entertaining as Star Wars.  Let's pretend that we see a cigar floating in front of us.  Let's continue pretending that, if something was close to that cigar, it would be almost as good as something deserving of the cigar.  Now let's place the Star Wars' films and the Lord of the Ring's films within a mile of the floating cigar.  Look!  Star Wars isn't just close, it's puffing away at this smelly phallic symbol.  Where's Lord of the Rings?  Truth be told, it's not even close.  Actually, it's taken a flight out of the country where the cigar resides.  There is NO competition between Lord of the Rings and Star WarsStar Wars totally dominates (and Revenge of the Sith is going to blow your mind -- the film is friggin' incredible).  Sorry about the beer coming out of your nose -- maybe you should swallow before reading potentially funny material.

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

My day at Skywalker Ranch was an experience for the ages ... HOLY CRAP.

First I'm going to talk about how my day went as a whole. If you only care about how Revenge of the Sith was, scroll down to the big "EPISODE
III WAS FUCKING AWESOME" section that comes later in this entry. :)

I went to bed the night before at Ben's house at about 10:30ish - we were to be picked up at 6:45 the next morning by Jessica and her friend Christina. We went to bed watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. We stayed up for a little while, skipping ahead a chapter every time we saw Elijah Wood. I fell asleep almost immediately.

We woke up at 5:45 and started getting ready. At 6:50, we called Jessica to question where she was. She told us that she was picking us up at 7:45, and that she said she was going to start getting ready at 6:45. So ... I went back to sleep for an hour as we watched some more Return of the King - sans Elijah Wood's part.

Jessica comes to pick us up - we go over to this place right by the golden gate bridge (which, I've learned, is painted "International Orange"), fill
out some papers and get a black wrist band. I was reminded immediately that this was MTV's TRL when I was asked to fill out a survey, asking us "who of TRL's stars would we cast in the parts from Star Wars"?

I voted Mariah Carey to be Yoda, and that's all I remember. I think Andre 3000 and Big Boi were voted to be C-3P0 and R2D2 - haha. Fortunately, it became clear that, instead of being surrounded by a bunch of plastic 17 year old girls screaming for Carson, I'd be with a bunch of other guys and gals who likewise hated MTV -- friends of the friend of my friend who got me there.

We eventually loaded up on little mini-busses (California Wine Tours) and headed toward Skywalker Ranch (there were about 75 of us). Our escort on the bus was a guy from MTV who does the "coming up next blah blah blah" stuff in his one-trick pony raspy voice. We spent the bus ride talking about random shit - I found out a lot of people there were also there for the "Revenge of the Sith," and, well ... good for them ...

I'll go through the next hour and a half in one sentence. We got to the Ranch, sat at tables (which, actually, was in the same room that John
Williams conducts the orchestra creating the score for the film - which is shown simultaneous ... IE: there was a movie screen in that room too), took
bathroom breaks, ate lunch (turkey sandwiches and chips and such), and took more bathroom breaks.

THEN, we were walked by Ewok Lake toward Lucas' main house (ps, the ranch is fucking BEAUTIFUL), where a TRL/Star Wars stage was set up. So ... the TRL stuff begins ...

We cheer, we "woooo!," we do all that kind of stuff. We took three something takes of the opening where they had host Damien ... haha, his name is
"Damien" and then took more takes of us just cheering, and all that sort of stuff.

What I really love, is the fact that we were recording the episode of TRL (Total Request LIVE) ... that airs a week from today ... hahaha ... complete with the top 10 requests of the day and everything haha ... anyway ...

A couple days ago, I got an email, telling us a couple rules for the TRL recording. Basically they said: "no star wars costumes, no white shirts, and
no shirts with logos ... unless it's a Good Charlotte shirt."

So ... yes ... Good Charlotte was there ... and they were crappy ...

So there were interviews with Good Charlotte - and then they even played a song, three times ... to which we all decided to jump and love and cheer.
Vader and Chewie were on stage with them, which was pretty hilarious to me. 'Twas good times indeed. Chewie got to do a drum solo ... which was actually really good and awesome.

There were three members of the cast of "That 70s Show" there (Mila Kunis, Topher Grace, and Danny Masterson), (though, when we heard that people from that show were going to be there, we immediately all thought that it was going to be Ashton, and we were going to be punked, and not actually get to see the movie).

But before their appearance, the first celebrity guest was - how amazingly fitting - Elijah Wood! So, we're standing behind him for that interview,
somewhat laughing about the circumstances, but I definitely got a high five in there and got to tell him how awesomely badass he was in "Sin City."

So after all that stuff we did, we got to head off to George Lucas' PRIVATE THEATRE, to see the FIRST AUDIENCE SCREENING of STAR
WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH!

EPISODE III WAS FUCKING AMAZING

Look, I love my Star Wars. I'll admit, I'm not the die hard fan like some people I know - I don't know the names of ALL the characters, I don't know everyone's backstory - but I DO love me some Star Wars. Episodes four five and six ... they're the shit.

Now, I'll also say this: the new movies have been, to say the least, somewhat disappointing. They've had their excellent moments where they
shine, but in all honesty, they've been somewhat mediocre.

Episode III makes up for everything bad I've ever said about anything having to do with anything ever.
Episode III may be my favorite Star Wars movie of them ALL.
Episode III was fucking amazing.
Episode III made me cream my fucking pants.

The movie was brilliant. The effects were amazing. The STORY fucking ruled. Everything about this movie was 110% perfect! Even Hayden (whom I grew to hate after seeing "Clones") was GREAT! This movie, by far, was the most redeeming thing I've ever seen in my life. It's the greatest payoff anyone could hope for. Everything kicks ass, and everyONE kicks ass! The parts that were funny were hilarious! The parts that were dramatic were executed perfectly! This movie shocked me, amazed me, thrilled me. And OH MY GOD IT'S PG-13! Best ... decision ... ever ... if not having made it rated R, haha.

After the movie, we all went back to the theatre to record some more stupid TR-PR shit ... Michael Rosenbaum ("Smallville"'s Lex Luthor) was
there, Seth Green, and Peter Gallagher ... and some people did their stupid "shout-outs" ... I would've gone up and given a shout-out to Jesus, but at
that point, we were all hungry and tired, it was cold and drizzling rain, and I'd lost my voice screaming "you make me want to bleed for the tsunami
victims" during Good Charlotte's performance. We filmed a few more group shots and shit, and finally went back to the busses and went back to that
parking lot by the Industrial Orange Gate Bridge.

So LOOK FOR ME (haha) on TRL - it's on MTV Friday, May 13th (I don't know at what time). I'M WEARING BRIGHT PURPLE! 'Twas a good fucking day indeed.
-Josh

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

I have close to 30 years of memories, maybe more like "feelings", regarding Star Wars. I went to the the first Star Wars movie with my husband to check it out before bringing our 6 year old son. We then went again with our son but covered his eyes when Luke's aunt and uncle's charred bodies were shown. Actually, he did get to see the entire movie, charred bodies and all, because he went again with a friend and his parents.

I loved the deserty planet that Luke lived on and his interaction with the droids. I was fascinated with Princess Leia's hologram and Obi-Wan's name. Of course the cantina was a favorite scene, along with Obi-Wan's ability to change the minds of the storm troopers with a gesture of the hand accompanying the words he wanted them to act on. Chewy was impressive. Chess with Chewy on the Millennium Falcon was impressive. The murky water and closing in walls was a fun scene, made even more so with the verbal bantering. The opening--the words, the space ship--wow!

I liked "Star Wars--A New Hope" the best of the 5 I've seen I guess because it was the first. I liked all of the Star Wars movies, even totally (well,
not totally--just a little less of Jar Jar) enjoyed "Phantom Menace". Waiting in line is even an interesting experience. All three of my children love the Star Wars movies but they haven't won over my husband yet--maybe this final one will do it.

The toys made great gifts that were excitedly received and constantly played with--which now apparently should have been kept in the original boxes and just looked at--anyway, there was a competition between friends in who had what toys to play with. Do kids now have competitions with their friends to see whose toys are stored away in the most pristine boxes?

When we moved and my children were nervous about starting a new school, we calmed the anxiety by renting a VCR and 2 movies--"Star
Wars" and "Savannah Smiles"--Though they had two movies to watch during the entire last weekend of summer vacation, they did not watch "Savannah Smiles".  Star Wars played over and over again on our small 19" television set with its single speaker and the funny looking rabbit ears. And my children and myself loved it as much then as we did 7 years earlier on the big screen.

My story, a mother with fond memories of sharing Star Wars with my children.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share.  I love your site and can't wait for your review of "Revenge of the Sith" (please tell us it's a classic!)
-Jean McClellan

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

My earliest Star Wars memories involve lots of pot, lots of LSD and lots of laughing at a walking carpet. The movie came out in the late 70's and me and the guy I was dating were like the last of the hippies. By that time the cause had died and "the man" had won the battle and all that was left for hippies to do was "smoke-up" and go to films (did you think the Cheech & Chong movies were hits because of their art?).

The year Star Wars came out I was in my mid twenties and still a heavy pot smoker and still dropped acid on rare occasion. Some years earlier the science-fiction film 2001 made a splash at the cinemas. I was heavier into LSD back then and I stuck a tab of acid under my tongue and went to the film with a group of friends. It was the trippiest thing I had ever seen! The movie bored me when I watched it sober but I remember there was this guy flying through all these colors in one part and that was fun to see on acid! Now all you need to get the same sensation is to hit one of the roller-coasters at Universal Escape. Back then our roller coasters where rickety white things and they didn't come with LSD effects. We got our fun the only way we could.

I sound like I'm trying to justify my drug use. I haven't done any drug other than ones prescribed to me since 1979 and I don't recommend people start. Now I'm losing track of my story. See why you shouldn't do drugs? Comes back and messes up your memory pretty bad later on in life.  BACK TO STAR WARS AND THE WALKING CARPET!

My druggy boyfriend told me that Star Wars was like the next 2001 and that it would be even trippier on acid than 2001 was when that movie came out. He convinced me to take a tab of acid and we went to the film. The movie didn't do much for me when I was high on acid. It was a bad trip I was having and the movie wasn't helping with all the flashing lights and explosions. I nearly killed my boyfriend for convincing me to "pop" with him.

Later on I think when it was out for a second or third time right before I went to rehab and got myself off drugs for good a girlfriend of mine thought it would be fun to smoke a little weed before seeing it. I was against going because the acid had such a bad effect on me the first time. Another girlfriend ended up agreeing and I was outnumbered so I smoked myself up higher than a kite and went to Star Wars.

IT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All we could do was laugh. I think back and want to personally apologize to everyone in the theater with us probably trying to actually watch the movie. We were so baked and everything was so funny. The little Jawas cracked us up and then the cantina! We laughed so hard at all these aliens! one had a butt on his face!!! We were rolling in the aisles. Then this 7 foot tall Shaggy D.A. named Chewie came in and we didn't stop laughing until the end of the film. It was funnier than Cheech or Chong! 

Then I sobered myself up in '79 and in 1980 The Empire Strikes Back came out. It was one of the first movies I saw sober and I was looking forward to laughing again but it wasn't funny. OK Yoda was a little funny. But I remembered everything being so silly and fun when I watched it impaired and sober it made me sad. I respected the movie but it bummed me out and I thought that was the end of my life with Star Wars.

Then the original was released again (in '81 or '82) and I braved it and went by myself sober. I paid close attention to the flick. I dug the mythos and the richness of this fantasy world Lucas had created. For the first time I was really a fan of Star Wars. I wasn't a junkie scared of it or a stoner laughing at it or a newly sober lonely woman depressed by it, I was a fan of it.  Star Wars almost replaced drugs for me it was like my new drug. I couldn't believe how much I missed when I watched it high.

Then Return of the Jedi came out and I thought you would have to be high to like it. The Ewoks made me crazy. But a year later I saw Empire on VCR and thought it was the best thing I had ever watched in my life. Star Wars and Empire became my favorite movies. I tried to get into Return of the Jedi but I couldn't. It was like a stupid cartoon for little babies. 

I waited for the next Star Wars to come out (not many people remember that Lucas promised it was going to be a 9 part series with 3 sequels and then he would make 3 prequels). It did and it was a prequel and not a sequel like I thought it should of been. I hated it. I hated it more than I hated Return of the Jedi. I gave up hope. My favorite movies were still Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back and then 2 junk movies came out? It was enough to make me think about lighting up a joint and dropping this sobriety gig.

Then came Attack of the Clones. It still seemed like a big cartoon. I liked it OK because the romance was sweet. It had moments at least. At least it didn't drive me crazy like the ewoks did in Return of the Jedi or Jarhead Binks did in The Phantom Menace. And now I wait for Revenge of the Sith.

I was not very excited about Revenge of the Sith UNTIL I READ YOUR REVIE! You better not get my hopes up only to have them shat upon like the last 3 Star Wars movies. You better be right that it's like so Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back and not so REturn of the Jedi and Phantom Menace. I've trusted you as a critic more than I trust any critic.

YOU'VE BECAME THE ONLY CRITIC I TRUST!!!!!

You better not be playing with my emotions because I want another classic Star Wars movie more than I used to crave another hit of LSD or toke of the bong.

Your review restored hope in me. For that I thank you but it will be hard not to hate you if Revenge of the Sith turns out to be another cartoon like the last 3 Star Wars movies! I'm sick of fucking cartoons!

Your Fan,
Natalie (not Portman, even though your review makes it obvious you wish I was)

Alex's response -- See, folks?  This is what can make being a critic such a damn stressful job.  Natalie goes all hostile at the end of her otherwise amusing story and essentially puts her future happiness -- or devastating disappointment -- in my hands.  First of all, even though it is Star Wars, it's still just a movie.  Second of all, my opinion is only an opinion, even if my job is that of a critic.  A critic's job is to give an opinion.  It's not to transform opinion into fact.  That said, in my opinion, Revenge of the Sith is BY FAR the best Star Wars' prequel, an excellent film and the most enjoyable movie since The Empire Strikes Back.  And that's a fact!  Err ... wait ... um ...

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

Hi Alex,

I didn't understand the appeal of "Star Wars" until April 2005. This story isn't about me. My "Star Wars" story is about the smiling faces of the dozens of dedicated "Star Wars" fans I see everyday. I am a 23-year-old sale's associate at a Target store and at least 3 times an hour I see another "Star Wars" fan buying another "Star Wars" item. I started my employment with Target in 2003. We didn't sell many "Star Wars" items until the last few months. I didn't "get it" until I started to witness it. Like a bar Target gets a lot of regulars. They come in for the newest "Star Wars" game, or book, or toy, or underwear. They seem like it's a chore. Many of them complain that "Star Wars" is making them broke. I ask each of them if they're planning on seeing the new "Star Wars" movie (a dumb question to ask, but asking dumb questions and scanning barcodes is my job). Their sour expression changes and a wide grin crosses their face like the Cheshire Cat's. "I can't wait! I'll see it 10 times!" They wear it as a badge of honor and they let me know how many dozens (sometimes hundreds) of times they saw this or that "Star Wars" movie. Then I "get it". It's all explained in their smile. Little kids have the same smile as grown men. Some fans look like they're 50. 50 with the grin of a child. Now I get it. "Star Wars" brings out their inner-child. "Star Wars" makes them excited to be alive. "Star Wars" reminds them that maybe there's something more than their 9-5 job. "Star Wars" is hope. I didn't get that until I started selling items to the fans. I get it now and that smile you guys shine for me means the world to me. I will go to the next "Star Wars" film at the end of May (my first at the theater) and will see if I can learn how to smile as wide as you. I want to recapture that innocence! "Star Wars" is happiness!!!
-Target Girl

Alex's response -- Revenge of the Sith may not be the place to start, if you want "happy." As a matter of fact, I just emailed a few friends of mine and told them how seriously bummed out the film has made me. Not because it's bad -- it's quite easily the best film in at least 25 years -- but because it so effectively casts a shadow over the entire series. A dark, Vader-like shadow. It removes the generic "black & white" qualities of the Western, becoming a deathly tragedy.  Possibly the tragedy to end all tragedies.  This one doesn't put a smile on your face.  But as part of a 6 (or should I say "VI?") episode space opera, it succeeds immensely and is unforgettable (unless your brain atrophies or you come down with a bad case of Alzheimer's).  It's an epic, amazing, rewarding film -- just don't watch it first.  Start with Episode 1 (The Phantom Menace) and go from there.

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

I'm 28 years old and have never watched a star wars movie. My brothers kept telling me that I'm missing out but I was a girl and girls naturally rebel against older brothers. Of course I saw quick clips of the films when I walked through the living room and my nerdy brothers were watching but nothing stood out and I just laughed. When I saw another star wars film was coming out I laughed. I thought it was part 6. My homeboy called me up and insisted I go with him on his dime. I gave in and watched Revenge of the Sith. It was absolutely fucking amazing! Fucking amazing! Is this what I've been missing? When that big ship flew across the screen at the beginning I was like "no fucking way, it doesn't get better than this!" And then it kept on coming and coming and coming and coming and coming! I was as in love with the last 15 minutes as I was with the first! Revenge of the Sith fucking dazzled me and captivated me and I realized what all you morons saw way back in the 1980! This was the coolest thing. How did they do those effects? I didn't know what was going on most of the time. My homeboy explained that Anakin wasn't Luke and that Leia and Luke was Anakin's kids. When he told me that Natalie Portman was pregnant with twins I told him to shut the fuck up! I didn't want him to giveaway the movie! I didn't really know what was going on but I knew I loved what I was seeing. Homeboy owns the other star wars movies and we are watching them all. I can't wait and I apologize to everyone I ever made fun of for loving this shit. It is the shit. It is massive. This movie was powerful and at 28 years old it changed my life and my way of thinking! Is the Force with me?

Alex's response -- You're not the first "newbie" who fell in love with the saga thanks to Revenge of the Sith. It's not the best Star Wars' film, but maybe, based on emails I've been getting, it's the best to start with (which seems a bit ironic).  There's no way to express how excited I am over the fact that people, even in their late 20's, are still blown away by the big ship that opens the movie.  It was a variation on the "big ship" in the 1977 original Star Wars that made me a lifelong fan.  Your story, more than any other I've received so far (and I'm disappointed at how few I've received) has convinced me that Lucas did good with Episode III.  I've watched the film four times and it just keeps getting better.  It's right up there with Empire and A New Hope.  I would recommend you watch those two next (followed by Return of the Jedi).  The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones (Clones is my least favorite of the series) don't quite stack up.  Yes, the Force is with you.

Want your Star Wars' memories added to this page? If you'd prefer, feel free to send in box-office predictions for Revenge of the Sith or anything Star Wars' related that you can think of! You could win 1 of 10 Google Gmail invites or the grand-prize of a Target Exclusive Lava Red Reflecting Darth Vader! Only 50,000 were made! Email anything Star Wars' to alex@juicycerebellum.com and you're entered!

Back to the official Revenge of the Sith review

Check out the awesome STAR WARS' store below! Help The Juicy Cerebellum stay afloat and get some cool posters for your wall!