Things to do in 2002:
Love, Puppies and Genital Warts
Written by: Alex Sandell
2. Catch up on movies nominated for Academy Awards
4. Write annual update about Academy Awards
6. Ask for Contributions
8. Pay more for my PO Box and website than I receive in contributions
10. Screw some whore I met online and temporarily fell in love with
12. Wonder where newfound genital warts came from
14. Finish my book but refuse to let anybody read it until its published
16. Wonder when publisher will publish book so he can read it
18. Wait in line for 7 hours
20. See new Star Wars' movie
22. Write a review for new Star Wars' movie, see it 5 more times, change mind, write another review, see it on DVD and go back to my original review
24. See Shar-Pei in my "Puppy-A-Day" calendar and cry over Brady
26. Regret that I revealed I had a "Puppy-A-Day" calendar
28. Get a call from some ex I hate that "needs" to talk
30. Get phone number unlisted
32. Wonder why new Matrix sequel isn't out yet.
34. Decide I'm bored with Nintendo Gamecube, sell it on eBay for half of what I paid
36. Buy back Nintendo Gamecube one day when I'm really bored
38. Drink too much and send a hostile email to an elected official
40. Sober up and worry that I'll be arrested
42. Wonder if pot would help my epilepsy
44. Smoke pot, become terrified that I'm dying, and decide against smoking pot again
46. Call ex that I hate that first called me, tell her that I "need" her, give her my new unlisted number
48. Call phone company, tell them that I need my number changed
50. Go see The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, get really bored
52. Write negative review of The Two Towers
54. Get a ton of hostile email from defensive geeks with too much time on their hands
Here's to a Juicy 2002!
Be the first to send me feedback for my first update of the year!
©2002 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. If you copy this, without my permission, I'll hunt you down, complain, sneak up behind you, complain, unzip my pants, complain, and fuck your silly looking girlfriend, goofy looking sister and/or skanky drunken mom!
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