This update is best viewed in the "Chiller" font.

Been here too long,
like the living dead.
Blow out my brains
and stuff a "goodbye"
into the hole in my head.
Been here too long,
don't want to survive.
It's become unbearable to stay alive.
Been here too long,
lost everyone dear,
just going through motions
and hiding the tears.
Been here too long,
and everyone close,
thinks I'm pandering,
slandering,
demanding,
or just won't leave them alone.
Been here too long,
don't know where to go,
blasted and thrashed by the
people I know.
Go away, Jesus,
I can't be saved.
Fuck off, God,
you only steal my best friends away.
The friends that I have don't ever stay.
No emails.
No calls.
No "do you want to go out?"
No girlfriends.
No best friends.
No job.
No money.
No child.
No wife.
No independence.
No home.
99.999% of my time is time spent alone.
Call me "pathetic,"
it's a compliment.
I'm proud to be something,
even if "pathetic" is it.
Call me whatever you want,
but don't bother giving me a call,
I'm "too much,"
I'm "too depressing,"
I'm "too opinionated,"
I'm "too political,"
I'm anything you want me to be,
so you can justify my being something you consider
not worth dealing with.
But I'm still here
waiting for the right one.
Waiting for the real one.
Waiting for the true one.
Waiting for the smile.
Waiting for the acceptance.
Waiting to be bought out.
Waiting to become one of you.
Waiting to become one of you.
Waiting so long to become one with you.

email the impossible

back to the juicy cerebellum

2001 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved].