Mayor McCheese Caught Picking Up Transsexual Prostitute
12:58 A.M. May 13th, 1997
Alex Sandell

Mayor McCheese, who already shocked McDonald Land by admitting he was a homosexual, was caught picking up a transsexual hooker in his Land Cruiser early Monday morning. At 4:45 a.m., the controversial mayor was seen parked in an especially seedy area of the McBronx, with a tall, scantily-clad Chicken McNugget entering the passenger side of his car.

No cash transactions were observed by the authorities, but the transsexual was arrested on an outstanding prostitution warrant. McCheese was not arrested. The mayor denies he was pulling the transsexual nugget over for any illicit reasons.

"Mr. McCheese was restless all night. At around 4 a.m., he decided to get up and grab himself a Big Mac," said the Mayor's spokesman, Murdock McMurphy. McMurphy said that McCheese noticed a beautiful McNugget, whom he believed to be "entirely female" walking the streets. He pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. "You're Mayor McCheese," she responded, awestruck over meeting the celebrity. "And you're out too late, little lady," the concerned Mayor replied. Murdock says the transsexual McNugget then "hopped into" the Mayor's car, "and that's when they were pulled over by the police." The exhausted McMurdock went on to tell the press that "the Mayor had no way of knowing he was picking up a McHooker. If he would have, he wouldn't of stopped. Mr. McCheese does not condone prostitution, or transsexualism, for that matter."

Although the Mayor has not been charged with a crime, his critics are having a field day with the news. "First he comes out of the trendy 'closet' door, opened up by that purveyor of filth, Ellen, and now he's giving rides to every she-male that he sees, is there any end in sight? Not until McCheese if forced out of office." said conservative radio host, QuarterPound McLimbaugh. Bob Dole, the new Ronald McDonald, shared in McLimbaugh's sentiments by saying "the Mayor is destroying what made McDonald Land wholesome, right after Ronald's death. He couldn't have picked a more inopportune time."

Mayor McCheese has refused to talk to the press on the issue. The Juicy Cerebellum promises to keep readers informed, as soon as any other news breaks.

-Juicy Cerebellum Press Syndicate

1997 Alex Sandell If you wanna copy it, you have too much time on your hands, anyway.

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