Is it Dead?
Written by: Alex Sandell
I've written a list (and some comments) of people who helped save this page. Being me, I also included a list of the dorks who couldn't take the time to help, but could find plenty of time to make up excuses. If I forgot your name, from either list, please send me a reminder (whatever the fuck that is).
The only reason you're reading this page, is because of these people:
David M. James
Colin Atrophy (thanks for the cool 'zines, too!)
Martijn Warnas (okay, I won't eat you.)
Tracy McDowell (or something. I can't read her handwriting.)
Jill (No last name, but she typed out a nice letter.)
Ryan Haitos (I can't really read his last name, either.)
The person who sent money, with no return address, or name, and said, "this is for 'Dead Dogs Don't Roll Over." I'll get to the next chapter soon, I hope. *Gulp*
Me, for writing it, and keeping it alive, even though it's technically "dead."
Jason E. Kahler
Wren Dugan (it coulda worked, in another life. Next time, okay?)
Huri, for begging me to let him host my page, and then keeping all the promises he made, once he did. Plus, he has a cool name.
Jack, from Coolidge Records, for providing the soundtrack, free of charge.
Danny "Roadkill" Thompson, for tirelessly answering my 10,000 questions. For sending me a bunch of really cool stuff in the mail. And, most importantly, for ten years of great music that has cheered me up, when I felt like dying.
And finally . . .
The great Gordon Soukoreff, for putting up with my shit, hosting this madhouse, and generously picking up the tab, for my domain name. You kept it Juicy, long before it even went dry.
If you'd like to be one of the "good people" on this list, instead of one of the "big assholes" on the list below, send your contribution to:
P.O. Box 331
Alexandria, MN 56308
These people were no help in saving this page, and some tried their best to destroy it:
All the Republicans who kept telling me they "want" to help, but "if you give someone a fish, they'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime." If there's no fucking water, there's no point in fishing, assholes. (Plus, I don't know how to fillet.)
Even though she is schizophrenic, manic-depressive, and at least partially retarded; the ugly fart of a human that kept sending me harassing emails, throughout this whole thing. You know who you are. Too bad, for you, nobody else does. I'll help keep it that way.
The girl I asked to help me with graphics, but who turned me down, because she was "professional," and only worked for money. Her idiotic friend, and their whole sick, twisted excuse for being alive.
That dork who reported me for "forging" my name, on Usenet. If you would have actually read my posting, you would of seen I didn't "forge" shit, dork. Why don't you stay out of my life? Maybe I'll follow you around town, and call the police the second I see your candy wrapper miss the waste basket.
The religious cop who said she loved to debate, and then stopped talking to me, when I produced evidence that supported my argument, and she had no comeback. With cops like you, who needs criminals?
The American Medical System, for putting money above people's lives. I wish I believed in God, just so I could see you all burning in Hell. (Was that hostile? Maybe I should have said, "burning in Hell, for a while.")
And, most importantly . . .
Anyone that likes this page, and couldn't bring themselves to send even a dollar, to help keep it alive. How do you like taking my handouts? Do you steal all of your entertainment? I would have thought that more than 24, out of 17,000 people, could have helped. Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one. And, as we all know, assholes are full of shit. I asked my regular readers to send in what they could afford, or whatever this page was worth, to them. If the page was really worth nothing to 16,976 of you, why did you keep coming back?
If I forgot anyone in my "thank you" list, please chew me out at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you really didn't have any money, don't worry about not sending it. The reason I didn't simply make this a paysite, is because I KNOW some people are honestly flat-broke, and aren't just making excuses. Oh, and here's one more "fuck you" to anyone that may have pissed me off in the past couple of months.
Back to the table of brains 1998
Back to the mind-map.