Microsoft Announces World's First $399.99 Paperweight:

In a bold move, Microsoft has introduced the world's most expensive paperweight.  The company has called it the "XBOX 360."  Some analysts questioned the move, citing the $399.99 price-tag as being "excessive" for a paperweight.  Microsoft says they are confident sales will be "through the roof."  "If nothing else," said Microsoft lackey Peter Moore, "Bill [Gates] will buy out every other paperweight company, making the XBOX 360 the only paperweight available."  Moore said the price was justified.  "Premium paperweights demand premium pricing."  A giddy Gates grabbed his balls and shouted, "Open Source this, bitches!"

Subscription to XBOX 360 Live Gold: $57.95

3 mediocre games: $180.00

A Broken XBOX 360? Worthless.

There are some games that actually work.  For everything else, there's Microsoft.

Alex's XBOX 360 January 7th, 2006 - January 26th, 2006. Aged 19 days.

19 days.  The only other console I've had break that quickly was the original XBOX, way back in 2001.  Luckily, I was able to talk the store into giving me a refund on the 360 (I was told that the XBOX 360 was returned for being defective more than any other item the store had ever sold).  It's been reported that some businesses have stopped taking the item back, due to a mind-boggling number of returns.

I learned not to trust a Microsoft product years ago, but someone gave me the 360 for Christmas, so I accepted it and, like a complete idiot, went out and bought three games for the thing (at the outrageous price of $59 a pop).  The games range from unplayable to mediocre. 

The graphics on the system are no better than what you can find on the GameCube or original XBOX.  XBOX Live lags like crazy and boots gamers half the time.  I frequently asked other people playing XBOX Live (or attempting to, through all the lag) how many were still using their "first" XBOX 360.  More often than not, these gamers -- who were playing online through their XBOX 360's -- said they were on their second, third, even fourth unit. 

Did Microsoft, the richest company in the world, really have "supply issues" this holiday season, or did they know they were selling a defective product?  Did they deliberately hold this thing back as much as possible, to save them money on a future recall? 

The XBOX 360 was the buggiest piece of shit I have ever owned.  The machine is a disaster.  The games are nothing more than polished turd.  Wait for the PS3 or the Nintendo Revolution (Nintendo has almost always made a solid product).  Microsoft had their chance and they blew it.  And they cost me a lot of money in the process (you can't return games once they've been opened, so I'm out $180.00).

If you do buy one, don't say I didn't warn you. 

When you discover that there is nothing "next generation," or even unique, about any of the games available, you'll wish you had waited for a PS3 or Nintendo Revolution.  When you see every game priced at $59.99 - $69.99, when the same game is on the PC and other consoles for $29.99, you'll wish you had waited for a PS3 or Nintendo Revolution.  When you see that green "ring of light" turn into the "red ring of death," you'll know buying the XBOX 360 was one gigantic mistake.  Enjoy that $399.99 paperweight!

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